Boys,
In
WoW raids, there were some groups with which we would /roll for a fun way to
assign blame because there was no particular person that caused the wipe, but
it happened anyway.
We
are having a hard time identifying who is actually "responsible" or
"accountable" for "accidents" and
"misunderstandings".
As
I approach this from the perspective of 'teacher' I like to first consult a
dictionary to see if the words literally (*cough cough*) still mean what they
used to. I like dictionary.com.
re·spon·si·bil·i·ty
noun, plural re·spon·si·bil·i·ties.
1.the state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one's power,control, or management.
5.reliability or dependability, especially in meeting debts or payments.
ac·count·a·bil·i·ty
noun
2.Education.a policy of holding schools and teachers accountable for students' academic progress bylinking such progress with funding for salaries, maintenance, etc.
ac·ci·dent
noun
1.An undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs unintentionally and usually results in harm,injury, damage, or loss; casualty; mishap: automobile accidents.
2.Law. such a happening resulting in injury that is in no way the fault of the injured person for which compensation or indemnity is legally sought.
3.any event that happens unexpectedly, without a deliberate plan or cause.
4.chance; fortune; luck: I was there by accident.
5.a fortuitous circumstance, quality, or characteristic: an accident of birth.
mis·un·der·stand·ing
noun
1.failure to understand correctly; mistake as to meaning or intent.
2.a disagreement or quarrel.
I
think you three have a negative association with all of these words because
whenever they get used I minimally get rolled eyes.
None
of these are "bad words". (Heck, they have a lot more than four
letters!)
In
fact, to gain the independence that you want, these are the words you MUST
master. A good resource could Judge Judy. A good question she asks is,
"Who else SHOULD be paying for this OTHER than you?"
My
impression is that 'responsibility' generally refers to the person while
'accountability' refers to the source of financial restitution.
'Misunderstandings'
are never committed by only one party yet often it only takes one person to
eliminate them. Whether you misunderstand or are misunderstood, it is your
responsibility.
Responsibility
for an 'accident' could be the person who triggered it, the person who set it
up, or could even fall under the header 'Act of God'. If your RV is destroyed
by a hurricane, are you going to sue God? Good luck! Do your best to prepare
and insure your property, but recognize that sometimes life isn't fair and you
just have to pay up.
David,
it is my responsibility that you didn't do as I asked. That's my starting
point; however, you need to understand that it is ALSO your responsibility.
This time it was no big deal, but we need to use this minor issue to
establish habits that will remain true with bigger issues.
Life
didn't come with a rule book, but we might as well take some notes along the
way. ADHDers seem to work better with defined rules and protocol. Let's see how
these two new protocols work.
MISUNDERSTANDING
PROTOCOL
->
Has a misunderstanding occurred?
No: Don't use this protocol.
Yes: 1. Identify involved parties.
2. Identify whose fault. (HINT: look at step #1)
3. Identify versions of misunderstanding.
4. Eliminate versions that don't make sense
to EVERYONE.
5. Restate all valid versions and discuss
until conclusion is found.
ACCIDENT
PROTOCOL
->
Has an accident occurred?
No: Don't use this protocol.
Yes: 1. Triage people.
2. Triage things.
3. Clean up.
4. Brain storm with others
a. Determine accountability($)
/
responsibility(person)
b. Potential
Reoccurrence Reduction
Recommendations.
5. Implement solution to reduce odds
of reoccurrence.
GAMBATTE!
-mom
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